whatever is true, whatever is honorable

i am routine. i try to not hold onto words or plans for the day because as much as i dwell on them, and as much as i commit them to memory - they always fade away. especially plans. i am such a plan-rat (like pack-rat, except plans...yeah, whatever, you get it). it could be something as small as "what are we having for dinner?" "oh, lets just pick something up on the way home" then three hours, maybe even longer, plans change and we decide to make food at home. it freaks me out and upsets me generally because it's not what was planned.

my life thus far has been a series of trial by fire. i remember when i tried to get my permit when i was 15 years old, and my mom can contest to this, it took us three attempts to finally get it from the DMV because there was always something. whether i forgot my ID, or some paperwork from my home schooled drivers education - whatever it was, i could never quite get it right on the first try. even college classes. i'm currently retaking three classes because i, again, just couldn't quite get it right on the first try.


however this whole semester has been a complete whirlwind thus far. i'm taking 18 hours worth of classes, and i feel as if i am always at school, on my way to school, or doing homework, and it isn't even the end of the second week of classes. i've been teaching myself to keep a weekly planner that i literally have become obsessive about. writing everything in it from assignments, readings, due dates, work schedules, events - literally everything. and as much as i like to believe that everything is planned out because of this, it isn't.

i am constantly reminded that things change, and that things are constantly evolving, even sometimes for the better, but that doesn't make it easier on my head or heart. seasons change, and friends change, and environment changes, and we just gotta roll with the punches. because as much as i want to occasionally be stressed out about plans changing, or my schedule changing, things are really wonderful. everyone is in good health, my family is all happy and wonderful, i have two of the cutest nieces and a nephew whose laugh literally could make me cry if i think about it too long because my heart is so big for such a tiny human. each time my head tries to get upset about a kink in a plan, i try and remind myself there is no good deed that goes unnoticed, there is no need to worry, and we are all constantly gifted by the earth's many tiny little miracles.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

 philippians 4:8-9

mmm, see? that alone is enough to calm an anxious spirit